London can breathe easy as our favourite Guy About Town John Gough returns to London after a luxurious holiday in Monaco - tanned and ready to go. In true John style he's done us proud this week, mixing it up at various upmarket London establishments, bumping into a host of A-listers and even going to lunch - again - with his mystery man Mr Hollywood A-Gay... Any luck guessing who it is yet? I'm smug to say I know, but all will be revealed soon. John, we missed you and we're glad you're back where you belong - London may be grey but it certainly kicks the ass of everywhere else (yes, even a yacht in Monaco!)...

I’m so happy to be back in London! Don’t get me wrong, Monaco took to me like a duck to water, and whilst living it up on my yacht I even got invited to judge the Belvedere cocktail competition at the Blue Gin bar at the Monte Carlo Bay Hotel. The night turned a bit disastrous when I tumbled over trying to get back onboard the boat, and let me tell you a night spent at the mercy of Monaco’s medical professionals isn’t enjoyable for anyone! I needed a real rest when I got back, so went to stay at political powerhouse Cliveden for my first night back. But enough of all that, I’m a London boy and I know you’ve been lost without me telling you what’s hot, so I’ve spent the week engaged in 'exhaustive research' for you (you know, getting hammered every night)... Here we go!

Celebrity Spots
I think maybe I’m a bit of a celebrity magnet, because in the few days since I’ve been back I’ve been tripping over the A-list. Walking down Ledbury Road in Notting Hill, I noticed a bodyguard standing at the Aime boutique door holding an umbrella to shield someone from the rain. Wondering who would be so precocious, I was surprised to see the dinky Reese Witherspoon come rushing out dressed in an oversized black jumper, a big black hairband keeping her hair under control and the statutory celeb sunglasses. She’s pretty beautiful in the flesh, but to be honest I was just gutted Jake Gyllenhaal wasn’t with her! Apparently they’re both living in the area, so I hope to spot them again soon.

Speaking of major American names, I went to Nobu Berkeley for dinner last night. I was sat a couple of tables away from the very young looking Ricki Lake, who was power-dressed up to the nines in a smart black suit. My dinner companion informed me she’s here promoting a film, but I haven’t heard of it - maybe she needs to promote it a little more, and stay out of hard-to-get-into Japanese restaurants!

You all know I love my reality TV stars. The Z-list get louder, lairier and less tolerable with each passing year, but it was nice to encounter Lindi from this year’s season of the BBC’s The Apprentice at No 5 Cavendish Square a couple of evenings ago. She seemed to be on a hot date with a guy so tall he should be a basketball player. Lucky girl! She was nervously waiting for him when I arrived, and downed a quick cocktail to calm her nerves. Bless!

Top Club
Ok, time to eat my words just a little. When Bungalow 8 launched, I was distinctly underwhelmed, and offered a pretty lukewarm review of them to anyone who would listen! My feelings hadn’t changed much, but going back this week they really seem to be making some key changes to improve your night. Top DJ Sam Young (he played the Sex and the City premiere party) was playing on Tuesday and the sound system was literally reverberating with some top '90s tunes and cheesy classics. Instead of the scary emptiness they thought was cool 6 months ago, they’d packed in a crowd of fashionistas and clubland names, and thankfully no Z-listers in sight. Go there now if you can get your name on the list, they’re really getting it right at the moment!

Top Bar
I fleetingly mentioned Mint Leaf a couple of weeks ago and how great their Indian cuisine was. Well, since my first visit, I can’t keep away. The baby lamb shanks are simply delicious, as are the exquisite king scallops. The drinks are what keeps me coming back though (funny that!), you simply have to go and try the cocktails. My favourites are the Porn Star Martini (vanilla vodka with passionfruit, served with a shot of Champagne on the side) and the Summer Illusion (orange, apple, lychee licquer and sweet and sour). The staff make this venue, with the Chef coming out to our table for a chat about the menu, and the Restaurant Manager keen to make sure we chose the right wine, promising me he had a Chardonnay that I’d like (I usually hate them) – he was spot on!

The Big News
There’s one thing that’s got me really excited this week - so much so I'm almost inclined to keep it a secret and enjoy all the fun for myself! It's an exciting launch of a brand new night this Saturday, hosted by my favourite party girl Miss Emily Rawson - party promoter and top London DJ (her credits include my favourite club, Punk). She’ll be taking over the brand new Kingpin Suite at Bloomsbury Bowling Lanes in the basement of the Tavistock Hotel. You can expect five brand new lanes, a hot tub, karaoke, pinball machines and lots of sexy '50s rock and roll touches. You’d be mad to miss this – how many times have you complained there’s nothing different to do on a Saturday night? Well, here it is. I’ll see you in the hot tub! Don’t expect to see me in shoes someone else has worn though.

The other major news in clubland is that Mo*vida is closing next week for a major refurbishment. It’s long overdue, but I just don’t know what I’ll do without it! It’s a regular stop off on every night out. I’ve had a sneak preview of what it’s going to look like when they’ve finished though, and it’ll be worth the wait. In the meantime, get yourselves down there to enjoy the last week!

Wicked Whispers
Who remembers me mentioning a hot lunch date with a certain English gentleman and Hollywood A-Gay before my trip to Monaco? I got lots of wrong guesses, it certainly isn’t Alun Cumming! Ugh! Anyway, I’ve had two more lunches with Mr Hollywood this week, and he’s beginning to grow on me. He’s decided he’s ready to venture out in public for our next lunch engagement! Before I went to Monaco, I asked if I could try his fancy watch on. Pulling it off to give to me, he got up to use the bathroom and forgot I had it on when he came back. So, I took the Rolex to Monaco with me – I wanted to test if those Submariners really are waterproof. When I gave it him back yesterday, he informed me it cost him twelve grand, so you can imagine my relief that the saltwater didn’t do it any harm! You’ve got another week to guess who he is!

I met a lovely drunk lady in the bar while I was staying at Cliveden this week, and it turned out she was the former publicist for a certain pretty blonde English actress. The actress has recently dumped a Brit actor that’s been hitting the press for his drinking, and the PR lady hysterically regaled me with drunken tales of how much she detested her former client, and said they parted ways when the actress stole her boyfriend! Can you guess who she is?

Top 5
Ok, here’s the chart. These are the places you should be putting in an appearance right now.
1. Mahiki
When I go out, I frequently like sitting up at the bar to chat to the staff and watch people coming and going. Mahiki’s a great place to do that, and they make me a special pineapple cocktail that I invented for myself - just the way I like it!
2. MAYA
Check out MAYA this Friday for a big send-off party before they head out to St Tropez to take over Nikki Beach with Tommy Hilfiger. Hey, if you can’t get to the Cote d’Azur, it’s the next best thing. 
3. Punk
You know, this is really one of my favourite clubs, playing host to the A-list on a regular basis. You might remember I saw Agyness Deyn here recently, and last week Alan Carr enjoyed a drunken Friday there. This Friday, Goldierocks takes to the decks. I think the boys might like her!
4. 24 London
This Saturday, in tribute to Sex and the City, 24 is offering 2-4-1 Cosmopolitans until 11.30pm. With a nod to the core SATC audience of girls and gays, there’s also going to be topless waiters!
5. Soho Revue Bar
Have you heard of the amazing performance artist Scottee? He’s taking over Circus this Friday whilst Jodie Harsh is working in NYC. Anthony from Dirty Pretty Things was a surprise guest DJ last week, so go see who they pull out of the bag this time.