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Worst Movies of 2008

Posted by: Matthew Turner 02/01/2009 @ 17:25
Subject: Film

Total films seen in 2008: 500 (Yes, I made it to 500, thanks to a last minute push in the last three days. Go me!)
Films seen this week: Beverly Hills Chihuahua, The Transporter 2, Career Opportunities, Personal Best, All the Marbles (aka California Dolls), The Projectionist, Hollywood Knights, Kung Fu Panda, Strictly Ballroom, Chained For Life, They Saved Hitler's Brain, My Neighbour Totoro, Saint Jack, The Prestige, My Brilliant Career, The Big Doll House, Patrick, The Last Man on Earth, Hannah Takes The Stairs

"Flee! Flee! In terror from the badness..." - The Worst Movies of 2008
Last year (Blog 10, blog fans), when I wrote my Worst Movies of 2008 list, I said that the worst thing about film reviewing was having to sit through at least 20 or so grade A stinkers every year. What I neglected to mention was that there are two upsides to that, namely, 1) Not only am I getting paid to watch them, I'm also not spending my hard-earned cash on them, and 2) It's actually much more fun to review bad movies than it is to review normal or average ones. That said, the following list represents 20 hours of my life that I'll never get back and if you were unlucky enough to actually see any of the following, then you have my deepest sympathy.

1. Disaster Movie
2. Dangerous Parking
3. Code Name: The Cleaner
4. The Book of Revelation
5. The Hottie and the Nottie
6. Freebird
7. The Happening
8. My Blueberry Nights
9. The Love Guru
10. Cassandra's Dream

Dishonourable mentions to: Meet the Spartans, Strange Wilderness, Free Jimmy, The Accidental Husband, Pathology, The Oxford Murders, One Missed Call, Body of Lies, College Road Trip, Max Payne, The Ugly Duckling and Me, Righteous Kill

And the Transformers Award for the two biggest disappointments of the year goes to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and The Day The Earth Stood Still.

Trailerwatch: Crank 2: High Voltage
Fans of the delightfully named Chev Chelios will be delighted to know that he's back, in Crank 2: High Voltage, which opens on April 17th.
In Crank, you may remember, Jason Statham played a character who had to keep his heart-rate up in order to stay alive. In the sequel, it seems that the only thing that will keep him going is regular electric shocks. Brilliant. The trailer, it has to be said, is one of those Red Band affairs and is very much Not Safe For Work (lots of swearing, a bit of nudity, an implied shotgun / rectum interface) and it's also not particularly good quality, but there's enough here to give you the basic idea. Mind you, what I'd really like to see is a Crank / Transporter crossover, with Jason Statham playing both leads...

Top 10 Films On Release This Week (as recommended by me):
Only two new entries this week, with Kate Winslet's first Oscar bait contender The Reader (the second is Revolutionary Road, out Jan 30th) and Stephen Soderbergh's Che – Part One (Part Two is out Feb 20th) both making it into the top ten.  Meanwhile, Trouble the Water, I've Loved You So Long and Lemon Tree are all still hanging in there, despite only playing on one (London) screen each. Still no sign of what you might call a feelgood movie, though. Let's hope things brighten up a bit as 2009 kicks off...

1. Trouble the Water
2. Waltz With Bashir
3. I've Loved You So Long
4. Hunger
5. Quantum of Solace
6. The Baader Meinhof Complex
7. Lemon Tree
8. Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
9. The Reader
10. Che (Part One)

DVD of the Week: Night of the Eagle (out now, RRP £9.99)
This week's DVD of the Week is the black and white 1962 British classic horror Night of the Eagle (aka Burn, Witch! Burn!), which just happens to be my favourite horror movie. Based on the novel by Fritz Leiber and directed by Sidney Hayers (who made several episodes of TV's The Avengers), it stars Peter Wyngarde as Professor Norman Taylor, who discovers that his wife Tansy (Janet Blair) has been practising witchcraft in order to protect him from jealous colleagues and ensure his promotion within the department. It's gripping, chillingly atmospheric and genuinely terrifying. (In the interests of full disclosure, I find witchcraft much scarier than normal horror staples – for me, the scariest X-Files episode was the voodoo one where Scully suddenly turns into a pensioner). Anyway, Night of the Eagle also has the best Giant Eagle effects ever seen on celluloid, especially considering how low the budget was. There are no extras on the disc, sadly, but this is a little-seen gem that deserves wider recognition. Highly recommended.


by  Anonymous  04/01/2009 @ 15:36
I'm surprised Beverly Hills Chihuahua and Twilight didn't get dishonourable mentions too :)
by  Anonymous  05/01/2009 @ 10:43
Indiana Jones and Max Payne are harsh, I didn't mind either movie, and I HATED Righteous Kill, too... My best film was Changeling without a doubt, I hope that Jolie scoops the Oscar over Winslet...
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