Ahh Oceana. It’s everyone’s guilty pleasure - ask anyone who’s been and they’ll give a sly look around and make sure nobody’s listening before admitting that, actually, it’s kinda fun. Kinda. Just keep your head down, avoid the chavs, and dance about with a big group of mates and you’ll end up with a decent night out.

The Venue
Oceana is one of the most unusual clubs around. With a massive 2500 capacity across its eleven rooms - each with different and bizarre themes - five bars and two main dancefloors, you’ll be hard pushed to get bored. Yes the floors are sticky, the decor is tacky and everything is a little OTT, but that‘s what Oceana is all about, and nobody seems to care.

All the areas of Oceana have themes, and dependent on your mood you can switch from area to area throughout the night. The most unusual is Wakayama Tokyo - a futuristic, Japanese bar with TV monitors, neon lighting and clean, modern lines. New York Disco is one of the most popular areas, always crammed to capacity - a cheesy, disco-themed area with a flashing, Saturday Night Fever-esque dancefloor, lots of mirrors and, of course, the ubiquitous mirror bar.

The Venetian Grand Ballroom is the main area - but don’t think, judging from its name, that it’s anything opulent or glamorous - although it tries its best. The floors are the stickiest here and it’s a little like a poor man’s version of KoKo in Camden. A huge chandelier overhangs the main dancefloor with large stairwells and balconies along the outer edge. It’s here you’ll find the main podium tables where the scantily clad guys and gals will shake their booty for the titillation of the drunken spectators. However, the area that draws the most laughter is the Aspen Room. Why anyone thought to include this in a nightclub is a mystery, but there it is - a ski lodge, complete with Canadian logs and bizarre, all-American features. Why? Who cares!

The Atmosphere
The atmosphere here is always highly charged and buzzing on a Friday or Saturday night, as the venue is filled to bursting with drunken revellers - tanked up courtesy of the nearby Wetherspoons. Trouble usually occurs, if anywhere, in the queue outside as they’re pretty strict on the door. Don’t even attempt to get in without a passport or with trainers on your feet, and be prepared for them to take away your pack of chewing gum - the floors are sticky enough as it is!

Inside, it’s sweaty and pumping. Drinking, dancing and pulling goes on in abundance and large groups of girls and guys eye each other up and mix and mingle. It’s a hormonally charged atmosphere that’s not for the faint hearted!

The Music
Different sounds pump out depending on where you are. In the New York Disco Room you’ll have your fill of cheesy disco tunes from history - and expect plenty of Grease ballads and Dirty Dancing tracks thrown in for good measure. However, elsewhere you’ll hear the sounds of RnB, house, dance and pop all throw together over the decent sound system. Nothing particularly cutting edge, but all good enough to bop to and shake out your best shapes to impress the laydees.

The Drink
Everyone’s usually well and truly tanked up before arriving, although the bars here are stocked enough to offer bottled beers, alcopops and basic spirits and mixers. Some nights do an excellent £2 a drink deal on selected beverages, which people more than take advantage of. On the whole, they’re a little pricier than the drinks at the surrounding bars, but that’s only to be expected.

The Last Word
Oceana is the kind of place where you have to leave your dignity at the door, and let loose and have fun with your mates. It’s cheesy, sticky and tacky, but you’ll leave tanked up having had a decent night on the tiles at the end of the evening, just in time to hit an even bigger queue - that of the nearby late night Subway.

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