Artesian Well is my new number one place to go on the weekends. Such an amazing unique venue with great music playing all night long and open till the early hours of the morning. Once you get yourself on the dance floor that's where you will want to stay! If you need a way to celebrate the weekend in style, this is definitely the place to be!

Artesian well is a great place for a night out I have so much fun, the dance floor is the best option, I like the music and also the place is clean an tidy, the staff is very friendly and helpfully, is a must go place, the decoration is amazing. Definitely I will come back to this place for sure.

I went to the Artesian Well the other week and overall I had a great night out with my friends. The atmosphere, as expected was bustling and the customer service from the bartenders and doormen was so much higher compared to other clubs I have been to in London. Loved the music selection, each floor having a different genre let you choose and change. Would definitely recommend this place for a great night out with all your friends.

Absolutely awful - AVOID - if you pay £10 to get in do not go to the toilet as the bouncer (roid head) will not let you back into the room with your friends. Utterly shite. No sign of any management who should probably sort their bouncer's attitude out (by sacking him).

I don't normally contribute to these reviews but I had such a bad experience here I had to review this place to warn others. Complete dive. Cesspit of low-lives. Doormen are thugs. It begins as they shout at you for entry fee (which we were overcharged - but who am I to argue with an ex con tattooed man that's twice my size?)As soon as you get in you are screamed at to "MOVE ON MOVE ON, MOVE UP THE STAIRS" like you are in some kind of military training. If you queue for the toilets you are aggressively shouted at for standing in front of the fire escape door which is directly beside the toilet. When in the toilet, you fear for you life as the door is banged on and pushed upon in order to urge you on. You are basically treated like herded cattle - Why anyone would go here again is beyond me. Decor is AWFUL - shabby, dirty old carpet everywhere. You can't even go outside for a smoke as you won't get back in - seriously? It successfully rips every aspect of fun out of what you can generally classify as a good night. MOST stressful place to go out - which is what you shouldn't be saying about a nightclub.

Worst venue in London! I organised a party here and at no time did they tell me my guests would have to pay £10 to get in. The space they reserved was too small and there is no smoking area, and no re-entry if you go outside. On top of that, the staff were rude and aggressive, even threatening to kick me out when I complained to the manager. This club thinks its way better than it actually is. Avoid at all cost!!!

I could not agree more with previous reviews - i had only wished I had read them and been warned before going! Was having an awesome time for a friends birthday (good music and crowd) - until i encountered the as*holes at the door including the manager. Review on website says "friendly, approachable door staff as is the manager" - cannot be further from the truth! I will not be going back and telling anyone else I know not to either.

Easily the best place in Clapham if not London. Great music, great crowd, great interior design and great drinks prices for London.

Celebrated a friends b'day party the other week and it was definately the highlight of the year. Staff were helpful in organising things for the event and the whole night was amazing.

Reading some of the reviews below about the bouncers, yes they are strict in that they don't let people in who have clearly drunk so much that they can hardly stand and that is a large reason why the crowd in the club is so great.

Additionally others probably didn't realise that there are several storeys and dancefloors in the club so while it is inevitably busy at the front, move around and there is plenty of space

You'll be hard pressed to find a more chilled and/or more value for money night out on a weekend. Have been here many times and despite the long queues, well worth the wait

I had such a great time at this place! The inside and outside both look really cool and unique. When we got there the bouncers were up for a bit of banter and didn't give us a hard time unlike other London clubs do. This was a pleasant surprise as we were a group of lads and a couple of us were wearing trainers. We had a bit of a laugh with all the staff before going into the main bar which had a great atmosphere - there was a nice crowd in there, everyone looked good but it wasn't a fancy place. I'm definitely going back again, it was unlike other London clubs - it's busy without being overbearing and rave-like and the crowd is smart without being too pretentious and fancy. Thumbs up!

After having the most amazing night at the Artesian Well I thought I would look up reviews as I had never heard of the place before and I was quite shocked by how badly reviewed this place was! The drinks prices were reasonable for London and there wasn't too much of a queue at any of the bars. The place is amazingly decorated with sculptures and renaissance paintings which really gives the place a unique feel, in-fact I would probably call this the most unique bar/club I have ever been to! The place is nicely busy which is a plus, as an empty bar has a bad atmosphere. The Bouncers were helpful and the bar staff were quick but polite. The music isn't really my type of thing (dance, club tunes, house) but that didn't matter because the place was so great! definitely going back on a regular!

Absolutely awful club, this place has gone downhill. Bouncers were really rude and shouted at us 'cash only! £10! Move' and we were shoved about even though there weren't any queues. The clientele were just as rude, I was told to f*ck off whilst waiting in the queue for the loo and also whilst waiting to buy a drink. People were unnecessarily aggressive and it didn't help that it was very overcrowded. I would not recommend this club to anyone, avoid at all costs!

If I could give this place no stars I would!Absolutely awful!Most aggressive door staff ever, absolutely no need for it, they're shouting at you the second you get near the door. "£10, get your £10 ready now!!! £10, where's your £10!!"They let in way way way too many people, if Health and Safety checked this place out on a Saturday night it would be shut down, queues for everything, cloakroom, bar, upstairs bar, loos. Never been in a more crowded place in all my years in London.Finally the cliental are so far up their own a**** its unreal.Avoid like the plague.

If I could give this place no star's I would. The staff are rude, especially the bouncers! The place is overcrowded and the drinks are expensive. I would not recommend this place to anybody!

Haven't got much to say about this place apart from DON'T GO!!
really rude staff, abusive and offensive behaviour and language. Over priced. Will not be bothering with this place again. Oh! And the toilets are RANK!

I was really appauled by this club ! THe cocktail mojito was full of ice , it was 8£ for one , and it was not the best mojito ive had ! THere was hardly any mint leaves in it , and they dont put sugar on the rim of the glass .

The place was packed , couldnt move very far , so constantly getting crammed in .

THey charged my Debit card at 10 % for every purchase , and can only get over 10 £ of value , so they stitched me up there !

Very dissapointed , there are far better places than this PLAce ! they should take notice , otherwise they see there revenues go right down , as we are in a resession , and take these things quite seriously !

Top Bar/Club really unique/amazing. Inside its like a fantasy world with lots of different sculptures. I was told that is owned and designed by a very famous sculptor Rudy Weller which designed Helios Horses in Piccadilly also. I had a table booked and really amazing staff and brilliant Djs. We just never got bored we could go up three floors with different Dj's/music on each floor so it was a perfect night out. Drinks prices were fab but the only down thing was when we arrived was already long queue so we had to wait for a while to get in. Thanks Artesian and we'll definitely see you soon x x

This is one of the worst venues I've ever been to. They let in far too many people (at least 50% over capacity) so it was like being at the front of a festival crowd, both inside and in the smoking area. There was no room to move whatsoever. There were loads of people getting kicked out, for seemingly no reason. One of our group was kicked out for simply standing in the corridor for too long. The bouncers are on a power trip, and even simple questions (like asking where the toilets are) are met with aggressive responses. Literally the only good thing about the place is the pub opposite. I forget the name, but we were able to go in, sit down, get a decent pint, and talk to mates without having to scream at them. Avoid the Artesian Well at all costs!

Went here for my birthday on Saturday and I have to say I was embarrassed for my friends, had never been here before but thought I couldn't go far wrong...how wrong I was! Several of my friends were kicked out (and by kicked out I mean physically pushed out) for reasons as pathetic as standing in the corridor and asking where drinks had gone, that as below mysteriously disappeared when full. I was screamed at by staff again for bumping into friends in the corridor and stopping to say hello approx ten times before I was backed into the corner by one bouncer who thought it was acceptable to scream in my face for doing so. I was also groped three times by the male bouncer on the way into the toilets. When I complained to the manager at the end of the night he said he didn't believe my claims, and that the bouncer who had backed me into a corner and screamed in my face was the nicest member of staff they had working for them! Avoid this place like the plague...

Very, very rude staff - watch your drinks as the staff have a tendancy of taking full glasses of over priced drinks from right under your nose - perhaps a ploy to get you to spend more money? If this happens, don't even bother complaining as the aggressive staff are all to keen for a power trip! Avoid at all costs

This was one of the worst nights I have had out in a long time it was chav-tastic.

Also I am not sure what the problem is with the security staff maybe they are use to having lots of fights and trouble as they are so highly strung.

Don’t waste your weekend here. Stay away… unless you're a tough guy/girl

This place plays great music at the weekends (esp in the club room upstairs), and has a nice atmosphere inside. Only problem is that they tend to let in too many people and it gets very overcrowded later on with huge queues for toilets etc. The staff I've encountered have always been friendly though given the crowds they have to deal with.

Incredibly rude staff and really bad music. The door staff are unprofessional and either try to maul you, or make up a variety of different entrance fees (a large group were either charged nothing, £3, £5, £7). The bar staff refused to take card payments despite the fact they have large stickers on the doors saying they accept Amex Visa and MC. If your terminal is broken guys, admit this and apologise. Don't try and kick someone out of the club for asking why. Do not go here unless already hammered and you don't care where you end up.

There is no-where like this place, we have not been living in the area for long and tryed the artesian soon after moving in.
After being treated like royalty by bar and door staff alike me coupled with the fantastic tunes and atmosphere me and my mates were hooked. The DJ's ***** The Bar staff ***** The Doormen*****.
TOP TOP TOP venue you really have to try it

I was actually meant to be having a night out in Lost Society, as I suspect most people were when they found The Artesian Well, but it is a great alternative. Downstairs is a dark and arty place with lots space and a large bar, complete with very friendly and efficient barstaff.


Upstairs I was surprised to find a completely different bar that reminded me of 333 in Shoreditch. Some funky house and a very pretty laid back crowd made it a great night. Even if you are only visiting The Artesian Well because the queue to Lost Society is too long, I'm sure like me you wont be disappointed.

The Artesian Well door staff are inbred gorillas. I hate places where bouncers feel they should be the centre of attention.

This was my first experience of the Artesian and I can only confirm all the hype that we had heard about this place is spot on! The night was one to be remembered. It had an excellent atmosphere, we felt relaxed as if surrounded by old friends. Last but not least the Artesian Well door staff were friendly and approachable as is the Manager.

I honestly don't know what all these upset and obviously very boring people are on about! The Artesian Well is one great party, and me and my friends have never had a boring/dull/bad night there. The drinks are resonabley priced and the staff are really friendly and quick considering the amount of people they have to deal with.


The door staff are on another planet all together and I dont know if I have ever entered the club without being hugged and kissed multiple times by them. If you can't enjoy yourself at the Artesian Well then you should never have been let out at all.

The Artesian Well is great. It is not poncey, it has good music, and good drinks. And the Artesian Well staff are great.

Please avoid The Artesian Well. From the overpowering chart dance and the badly mixed drinks to the tasteless middle of the road moody clientele and the unfriendly and unprofessional door staff, The Artesian Well is my idea of hell. It seems to attract Clapham's worst elements.

Up until last weekend I have always had a wicked night at The Artesian Well and enjoyed the tunes upstairs. I was told the upstairs was full and that my friends and I would have to wait 30 minutes. 45 minutes went by with a steady stream of people going upstairs. Instead of telling us that we weren't going to be allowed upstairs the main bouncer just kept fobbing us off.


When I asked him politely about it he became argumentative and totally unprofessional, refusing to give a reason why he had singled us out. Instead of representing The Artesian Well positively he showed himself to be a stereotypical jobsworth and has put me off going back there.

Words. Fail. Me. If you hava a modicum of taste, then steer clear of the monstrosity that is The Artesian Well, particularly their 'club nights'. The most poetic moment of my night there? Some pumped-up no-mark throwing his best 'this-is-awful-pop-house-but-I-think-it's-the-real-thing' moves whilst unaware that he was dancing in a pool of vomit left by an obliterated young lass. And the staff at The Artesian Well? Don't get me started...

Moved onto The Artesian Well after a nightmare journey in London and equally unimpressed time in Inigo's.

Music was banging and drinks were reasonably priced. Had a great time at The Artesian Well and would definitely go again!

Having read all the other reviews about The Artesian Well on here, I thought this would be a great place to go and celebrate my birthday. However, it seems all the good reviews have gone to people's heads.

I found the bouncers at The Artesian Well to be rude and unpleasant and the people that go here to be equally self-important, rude and generally happy to ruin my night. I, for one, won't be going to The Artesian Well again.

The Artesian Well has sullen and unattractive staff, who are incapable of making drinks properly.

The snack menu at The Artesian Well apperas to consist only of deep frozen nibbles which can be chucked into a fryer (the restaurant was closed on the Friday of my visit).

The uninspiring background music (which was more like noise) combined with the other two experiences to make The Artesian Well an awful night out. My first and last visit. Steer clear.

Artesian Well does some tasty Morrocan style food but it's not a good place for a light meal. The noise from the pub can be quite annoying if you want a romantic evening.

But you could do a lot worse than Artesian Well.

Artesian Well is a lovely Battersea gastropub that’s open late for DJs and music. Artesian’s owner has gone crazy with the wrought iron, but it’s a great place to hand out with friends. Good music too.

The Artesian Well is perhaps one of the most visually exciting and interesting places around South London. It has much to offer with a restaurant, bar and club room. I recently held a party there and found the staff to be brilliant and very organised. The atmosphere makes for a fabulous night out on the tiles, and everyone I know to have been there has thoroughly enjoyed themselves. Good job!

Imagine the scene: I am going to an off the beaten track pub. I am expecting a large yet intimate bar with a myriad of different styles...My heart sinks when I realise the pub with the flashing orange '2AM' sign on the side of the pub is the Artesian Well. It is brash, crass and all things Kevin. The only reason for this bar to exist is to attract all the people you don't want anywhere else.

Thoroughly un-recommended.