One out of Five stars
Running time: 90 mins

Pointless, desperately unfunny sequel that should never be seen by anyone. Ever.

What’s it all about?
Martin Lawrence stars as FBI Agent Malcolm Turner, who’s given up the dangerous undercover work in order to make a commitment to his pregnant wife (Nia Long) and stepson (Jascha Washington). However, when a case arises which threatens national security, Malcolm feels compelled to don the fat suit and become massive Hattie Mae Pierce (aka Big Momma) again.

This time round, Big Momma gets a job as a nanny in the house of prime suspect Tom Fuller (Mark Moses). However, he soon realises he has his hands full just looking after Fuller’s three children.

The Bad
Big Momma’s House 2 is, hands down, one of the most pointless sequels ever made. It might have been interesting if the writers had explored the idea of Malcolm’s softer, caring side only emerging when he’s Big Momma, but the appalling script never approaches anything that sophisticated.

Basically, there isn’t a single funny joke, line or sight gag in the entire film. On top of that, Lawrence is the world’s least funny comedian – he can’t even raise a smile when he’s wearing the fat suit. Frankly, next to Big Momma, Mrs Doubtfire starts to look like a comic masterpiece.

The Terrible
The curious thing about Big Momma’s House 2 is that, just when you think it can’t possibly get any worse, it does. After 90 minutes of failed jokes, boring set-pieces and badly written lines, the climax vomits up the most sickening display of fake sentimentality.

Worth seeing?
In a word, no. You’d have more fun poking out your own eyes. Is there a petition we can sign to stop Lawrence making any more movies?