Jumper

Movie Review by

Ozer Khalid

Premature verbal ejaculations proclaiming that this movie was a mélange of The Matrix meets The Bourne trilogy were orchestrated by miscreant misfits who themselves were probably high on a mix of acid meets ecstasy tablets. This tacky take of teleportation in touristically trapped twists and turns is at best a second-hand hankering special-effects reel. Realistically it is a 1 hour 28 minute tasteless time-waster.

A talentless Star Wars cast does little to salvage the temptation to tear your lungs shouting out in despair to exit cinema halls. Formulaic trappings by Director Doug Liman terrorizingly torture our tautest of reality checks, doing his best to defile and debase the flavourful allure of Stephen Gould’s original tome etched to paper in 2002.

The formulaic trappings of trying to procreate, and in the process bastardizing, cheaply borrowed original concepts from far-better flicks such as The Matrix, The Bourne Identity, Twin Peaks, Supernatural and Sliders whilst clumsily mixing and mashing them into a misadventurous make-believe sci-fi magpie of moviedom is cinematic fallacy.

Hayden Christensen’s palpably plastic performance could not have been worse. The globe-trotting jet-setting party man is more true to character as a shallow pretentious conceited escapist in the trailer.

Adding insult to injury are the underlying pseudo religio-political undertones pitting the frenzied fanaticism of the `Paladins` versus the `Jumpers`. Monotonous sermonizing about childhood bullies, disjointed families and parental alienation are to be given as frosty a reception as Samuel Jackson’s frosty snow white hair.

The only part of the movie that spread a smile across my face, cheek to cheek (the facial ones) was when Christensen gives a refreshingly new take to the `banking profession`. Myself being a part of the profession the hint of irony did not go amiss.

What did however were the empty roles and empti

Jumper

Movie Review by

Ozer Khalid

Premature verbal ejaculations proclaiming that this movie was a mélange of The Matrix meets The Bourne trilogy were orchestrated by miscreant misfits who themselves were probably high on a mix of acid meets ecstasy tablets. This tacky take of teleportation in touristically trapped twists and turns is at best a second-hand hankering special-effects reel. Realistically it is a 1 hour 28 minute tasteless time-waster.

A talentless Star Wars cast does little to salvage the temptation to tear your lungs shouting out in despair to exit cinema halls. Formulaic trappings by Director Doug Liman terrorizingly torture our tautest of reality checks, doing his best to defile and debase the flavourful allure of Stephen Gould’s original tome etched to paper in 2002.

The formulaic trappings of trying to procreate, and in the process bastardizing, cheaply borrowed original concepts from far-better flicks such as The Matrix, The Bourne Identity, Twin Peaks, Supernatural and Sliders whilst clumsily mixing and mashing them into a misadventurous make-believe sci-fi magpie of moviedom is cinematic fallacy.

Hayden Christensen’s palpably plastic performance could not have been worse. The globe-trotting jet-setting party man is more true to character as a shallow pretentious conceited escapist in the trailer.

Adding insult to injury are the underlying pseudo religio-political undertones pitting the frenzied fanaticism of the `Paladins` versus the `Jumpers`. Monotonous sermonizing about childhood bullies, disjointed families and parental alienation are to be given as frosty a reception as Samuel Jackson’s frosty snow white hair.

The only part of the movie that spread a smile across my face, cheek to cheek (the facial ones) was when Christensen gives a refreshingly new take to the `banking profession`. Myself being a part of the profession the hint of irony did not go amiss.

What did however were the empty roles and empti

Not bad but not very good either. The best part of the film was easily Jamie Bell. Hayden Christensen just seemed bored half the time.

Although I do think that I would have enjoyed the film a bit more without the running commentary of the people behind me.