Scary Movie 5 (15)

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The ViewLondon Review

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Review byMatthew Turner17/04/2013

One out of Five stars
Running time: 86 mins

Comfortably one of the worst films of the year, this is an utterly dismal, lazily written and poorly directed spoof movie that fails to deliver a single laugh.

What's it all about?
Directed by Malcolm D. Lee (Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins), Scary Movie 5 is the fifth film in the spoof franchise, though Scary Movie 4 was actually 7 years ago in 2006, with the likes of Epic Movie, Date Movie and Superhero Movie keeping the spoof genre quote-unquote ‘alive’ in the meantime. After an opening gag involving Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan (as themselves) making a sex tape and experiencing some Paranormal Activity-like paranormal activity, the plot posits that Sheen's three kids were later found in a cabin in the woods and adopted by his primatologist brother Dan (Simon Rex) and his ballerina girlfriend Jody (High School Musical's Ashley Tisdale, in the Anna Faris role), whereupon the majority of the spoofing revolves around recent horror flick Mama, with diversions into Black Swan (vomit gags) and Rise of the Planet of the Apes (monkeys throwing poo, a lot) whenever Jody or Dan go to work.

However, after a while, the film gets bored with that set-up, so it introduces Leonardo DiCaprio lookalike Ben Cornish and uses Inception as an excuse to throw Jody into a number of other spoof set-ups, including the upcoming Evil Dead remake and, bizarrely, the as-yet-unmade 50 Shades of Grey.

The Bad
At least the previous Scary Movies put some effort into linking up the spoofed films, but Scary Movie 5 can't even be bothered to tie the strands together in an imaginative way and the jokes themselves are extremely laboured. They're also incredibly limited as all the jokes are either bodily-function-related gross-out gags (there's so much shit and vomit and piss on screen that you wonder if they're going for some sort of record), violent slapstick (babies getting set on fire, Rex's character getting repeatedly hit in the face/balls) or references to either other movies or popular culture phenomena (Gangnam Style, 50 Shades of Grey) aimed purely at eliciting a gurgle of recognition from its lowest-common-denominator audience.

The actors do their best under the circumstances, but you just end up feeling sorry for them (yes, even Sheen and Lohan), particularly comic genius Molly Shannon (as a rival ballerina in the Black Swan sequences). Surely she didn't need the money that badly?

The Worse
To be fair, the outtakes over the end credits are mildly amusing (there are multiple takes of a scene that didn't even make it into the film), but not enough to merit sitting through the rest of the movie. Even the bus posters for the film seem to have taken against it – they read, ‘Boo! Scary Movie 5’, which seems an appropriate response.

Worth seeing?
Oh hell, no. Scary Movie 5 is terrible even by the franchise's own depressingly low standards. Avoid like your life depended on it.

Film Trailer

Scary Movie 5 (15)
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Content updated: 22/10/2017 19:56

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