The Master of Disguise (PG)

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The ViewLondon Review

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Review byMatthew Turner16/01/2003

One out of Five stars
Running time: 80 mins

This is a serious contender for the title of The Worst Film Ever Made – it’s poorly-conceived, spectacularly unfunny and you can see the embarrassment etched on the faces of Carvey’s unfortunate co-stars.

Pity poor Dana “Garth” Carvey. Around the time of Wayne’s World (1992), both he and co-star Mike Myers were hot off Saturday Night Live and it seemed that Comedy Superstardom beckoned for both of them in those pre-Jim Carrey days.

Fast-forward ten years however and it’s Myers who’s the household name, thanks to the phenomenal success of the Austin Powers franchise and Carvey is left floundering in his wake. (Fair enough, he does a good George Bush impression, but let’s face it, we were tired of that by 1988, much as we were with George Bush I). At any rate, Carvey’s latest attempt at comedy will do him no favours whatsoever, as it’s quite possibly The Worst Film Ever Made.

Utterly Utterly Awful

Carvey plays dim-witted Italian waiter Pistachio Disguisey. (Crazy name, crazy guy? Er…no.) He works in his father’s restaurant and is somewhat confused by his compulsion to disguise himself, usually involving a pair of underpants on his head.

However, when his parents are kidnapped by Brent “You may remember me as Data from Star Trek” Spiner’s flatulent (yes, flatulent – they do the same ‘Evil Laugh Followed By Fart' gag no less than SIX times) Evil Genius, Pistachio discovers that he is actually the heir to the Disguisey clan – who have the ability to disguise themselves as whatever they want. So he has to, er…use his abilities to rescue his parents and foil the Evil Scheme. Or something.

In other words, the plot is an excuse for Carvey to trot out a series of “hilarious” accents, do a bunch of impressions (such as Al Pacino, Robert Shaw from Jaws and –yes!- George Bush – Carvey, in case you hadn’t gathered, is best known as an impressionist in the States) and wear a few disguises.

This would be fine if any of the above were actually funny in any way at all.

Some of the disguises are just plain disturbing, e.g: Carvey disguises himself as a bald-headed Turtle-Man (who at one point bloodlessly ‘snaps’ off someone’s nose and then spits it back on) in order to enter ‘The Turtle Club’; Carvey disguises himself as an enormous cherry pie and spits cherry pips like a machine-gun; and –oh yes- Carvey disguises himself as a Giant Cow-Pat. It’s even worse than it sounds.

Pity The Poor Co-Stars

It’s the co-stars you feel sorry for, particularly The Lovely Jennifer Esposito, who is saddled with a tedious role as Carvey’s love interest. There’s a mildly amusing moment during the five minutes (!) of out-takes over the end-credits where Brent Spiner looks at the camera during one of Carvey’s unfunny “ad-libs” and you can see desperation in his eyes…

It’s difficult to believe that, at no point, did anyone sit down with Carvey and say “You know what? NONE of this is funny. Let’s dump it to video and move on…” At the press screening for this there were children as young as five and even THEY weren’t laughing…

In short, avoid like your life depended on it…

Film Trailer

The Master of Disguise (PG)
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Content updated: 24/03/2019 13:34

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