Three out of
Five stars
Running time:
100 mins
Enjoyably rubbish, poorly directed and badly acted thriller that’s unintentionally hilarious and somehow remains perversely entertaining – a treat for fans of bad films.
What’s it all about?
Kelly Brook gets her first proper lead role as Jenny, the beautiful trophy wife of balding, boorish businessman Jack (Billy Zane). When a voodoo-induced fire (don’t ask) sinks their luxury cruiser, Jenny finds herself shipwrecked with Manuel (Juan Pablo Di Pace), the handsome, hot-tempered Latino boatman who was responsible for the fire in the first place.
However, when Jack washes up two days later (again, don’t ask), things become increasingly tense between the three survivors and it isn’t long before the two men are at each other’s throats.
The Good
Surprisingly, Kelly Brook’s performance turns out to be the best thing in the film – she carries off an extremely decent American accent and comfortably out-acts both of her co-stars. The film also has a canny eye on the DVD market, since Kelly gets naked on frequent occasions, but only for a couple of frames at a time.
The Bad
However, the rest of the film is so hilariously rubbish that it’s difficult to know where to begin. For one thing, the make-up is truly appalling – it’s the most obvious use of ketchup-for-blood since the days of Hammer horror.
Leaving aside the ridiculous voodoo curse sub-plot, the film’s worst offence has to be the acting of the two male co-stars. Juan Pablo Di Pace is just plain wooden but Billy Zane overacts to a hilarious degree, shrieking his lines and really letting rip in the final act.
Worth seeing?
In short, Three is a treat for fans of bad movies everywhere. Yes, it’s bad, but it’s gloriously, hilariously bad and is, perversely, worth seeing as a result.