out of Five
Running time: 90
Zoom is a shocking waste of a decent premise – it could have been the Galaxy Quest of superhero movies but instead it’s a badly directed, poorly written and desperately unamusing mess.
What’s it all about?
Tim Allen plays Captain Zoom, an overweight ex-superhero who lost his powers after a confrontation with his turned-to-the-dark-side brother, Concussion (Kevin Zegers). However, when an imminent threat causes General Larraby (Rip
Torn) to create a new superteam, Zoom is brought out of retirement in order to train them.
To his surprise, Zoom’s new superteam turns out to be a group of four children, namely Invisible Boy Dylan (Michael Cassidy), Telekinesis Girl Summer (Kate Mara), Inflatable Body-Part Boy Tucker (Spencer Breslin) and Superstrong Pre-Teen Cindy (Ryan Newman). Will they be enough to defeat a newly revived Concussion?
There’s so much wrong with Zoom that it’s difficult to know where to start.
It’s poorly plotted and the lazy script is appalling, preferring fart gags, mugging (chief culprit: Spencer Breslin, yet again) and toilet humour to anything even remotely inventive, witty or clever.
The acting isn’t much better: Tim Allen sleepwalks through the entire film and constantly looks like he couldn’t care less, whilst Rip Torn isn’t even given any funny lines as Larraby. Kate Mara and Michael Cassidy make likeable teen leads but the script completely fails to develop their romance subplot.
You’d think that the saving grace of a film like this would be the effects, but no, the effects are so bad that they look like they were knocked up on a home computer in twenty minutes. By a monkey.
Even the make-up is bad, as the film somehow manages to make Courteney Cox (as nerdy scientist Marsha) look hideous for the entire movie.
Zoom could have been a lot of fun but it squanders its potential and ends up as an unwatchable mess. Rent the underrated and vastly superior Sky High instead.