Once a down at heel station pub, in less than a year the Bloated Mallard has established itself as a destination venue of distinctive character. It’s still a handy place for a quick pint on your way home, but chances are you’ll want to stay longer.

The Venue
The term shabby chic could have been created for the Bloated Mallard. Its position next door to Teddington station is misleading as this pub couldn’t be further from the stereotype such a location suggests.

The pub sticks out amongst the pretty houses that surround it so the tiny outdoor area at the back is out of bounds after 10pm. Sitting outside at one of the tables on the pavement, you could almost be in the country. Inside, the pub is small with an interesting trio of rooms curled around a central bar. The dining area has a more glamorous air with a huge mirror, disco ball and black and white signed photos adorning the walls. It isn’t clear whether Daniel Radcliffe, Joely Richardson and Johnny Depp have actually visited the Bloated Mallard but this is the impression it gives and with Teddington studios being located nearby, it’s quite possible.

The chocolate coloured walls, faded sofas and beaded cushions have seen better days but the chandeliers and low hanging lampshades over the bar add a touch of elegance that make it work. It’s theatrical without being camp and lived in without being dog-eared.

The Atmosphere
This pub has a very loyal following of locals between 35-45 years old. It has a relaxed atmosphere with the predominantly male clientele dressed in smart casual attire. It may be that Teddington’s men are drawn in by the noticeably young and pretty bar staff; however, it’s more likely they just feel at home here – the music is modern and the staff are friendly. Each week there is an open mic night and the live jazz on Sunday afternoons can be heard as soon as you get off the train. A function room is available upstairs and you can even get married here, should you not mind the word 'bloated' scrawled on your wedding invitation that is.

The Food
The first thing to note about the menu here is that pescetarians will be spoilt for choice. However, alongside the haddock, seafood linguini and sea bass is a delicious chicken wrapped in parma ham in a white wine, sage and butter sauce or a sirloin steak. The vegetarian option of mushroom and asparagus risotto is a bit bland but the starter dish of baked camembert with onion relish is worth trying. The camembert is rich, creamy and generously portioned. Starters cost between £6 and £9 and mains range from £10-£15. There is a small uninspiring dessert offering and a cheese board.

A BBQ is laid on every Friday evening and also on Sunday afternoons. There is a bar snack menu featuring paninis and the Sunday Roast is particularly popular.

The Drink
Although not known primarily for its ales, the Bloated Mallard serves real ales from genuine 1920s hand pumps. Kronenbourg, Fosters, Stella, Guinness and Staropramen are all available on draught. Budweiser, Peroni and Corona are the bottled beers of choice along with the cider of the moment, Magners. There is an eclectic wine list with reasonable prices (the house white is decent and costs £13.95) and in the summer a jug of Pimms for £10 accompanies the BBQ nicely.

The Last Word
The Bloated Mallard is a laid back pub with an understated eccentric English style of its own. Proof that not all station pubs are drab and depressing.

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