Right. I've always had a soft spot for the Ordanance Arms, but after a visit yesterday, I thought I should write a review. A cautionary tale, if you will.


So, the Ordanance Arms is a Sam Smith's pub in St. John's Wood. A lovely location, and pleasant inside, tra la la la - beer is as you'd expect from Sam Smith's. The problem is the food.



This was the most overpriced slop I've had the misfortune to attempt to eat. My companion ordered soup of the day, served with warm bread for a hefty 5 quid. What arrived was as follows: tinned mushroom soup that tasted like salt, served with cold stale bread of the white bap variety. It was inedible and terribly presented. She ate three mouthfuls before having to stop due to having exceeded her salt RDA by 30 percent.


I was more hopeful of the seven quid nachos served with sour cream. What trundled its way onto the table was burnt tortilla chips covered in salsa with burnt cheddar cheese on top. It was absolutely foul. No jalapenos, no sour cream, no garnish, no guacamole. For 7 quid in any other pub, you'd expect most of these things wouldn't you?


The staff looked at us like we were communists, and seemed surprised that we'd left any of the sumputous repast they had lovingly poured out the tin/jar for us. As we were leaving, the barmaid was pouring industrial mayonnaise from a sweet-shop-of-yore sized jar onto a plate of chicken and chips. A class act.


It's such a shame, it's a lovely pub but whoever is in charge of the catering should be beaten with a large stick.

The upstairs at Ordanance Arms is a great late night hang out. There's also this cool iron tree growing inside which is weird. The Ordanance Arms has got fabulous pizzas which I would go back just for them.
I like it at The Ordanance Arms, it's good old fashioned fun.