The Simpsons Tavern is a historic venue near the Bank of England that keeps pinstripes in ale and pies until closing time.

The Venue
The Simpsons Tavern is an odd building that dates back to the Eighteenth Century. You’ll find it tucked down an alleyway towards Ball Court, which is often teeming with men in suits as they pace around with mobile phones glued to their faces, or holding pints of beer with a cigarette carefully wedged between two fingers.

Upon arrival, it may not be clear as to where you have to go if you want to enter the bar but you’ll get there eventually. On occasion, you may see a door swing open in the court that you thought was just a wall, such is the nature of these quirky historic London pubs. Both bars are intimate to say the least, with a boarding school feel to the antique interiors. The Gentleman's Bar on the ground floor, in particular, is like a lifeless old pub on a railway station platform that hasn’t seen a train pass through for years.

The Atmosphere
Let’s make this clear; The Simpsons Tavern is not interested in moving forward. It’s built on traditional values and is dedicated to making the customer feel reassured by its steadfastness. The existence of the smoking ban is all you’ll have for evidence that you haven’t been lost in a time warp. As a result, the Gentleman’s Bar feels sombre, untouched by the outside world. Businessmen who look like they’re concealing spacehoppers up their shirts sluggishly sup their pints whilst occasionally remarking upon Chelsea’s recent run of form or the England cricket team’s latest defeat. If this place had a Grandfather Clock, the most intrusive sound would be the pendulum swinging.

The Food
As you would expect from an establishment of this nature, the food available at the Grill and the Restaurant is hearty English fare. There may be the odd ingredient included from across the Channel, but ultimately it’s bangers and mash, Sunday Roast, Lancashire hotpot and liver and bacon all the way.

The Drink
At the tiny bar of the Gentleman’s, you will find the classic pale Bass Ale and Harveys Sussex Best Bitter together with a guest ale such as the lively and malty JW Lees. The Simpsons bar menu has a wide selection of beverages including draught beers (Guinness, Becks, Stella – or Artois as they prefer to call themselves these days), cognacs and liqueurs (Armagnac, Remy Martin, Calvados), and aperitifs (Martinis, Dubonnet, Campari). It’s in the area of the beverage that The Simpsons Tavern excels because the standards have not dropped during the many decades of service. You won’t find any excessive ice, watering down or substitutions made here.

The Last Word
London needs pubs with history, charm and character, those establishments that refuse to modernise or embellish themselves with twenty first century gimmicks, and if The Simpsons Tavern is continuing to attract a steady stream of customers through its (secret) doors by adopting such a policy, then no complaint should be made. However, the fact is, there are plenty of pubs in the capital with history, charm, and character, and the vast majority of them are better than here.

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