693 Wandsworth Road,
Battersea,
London,
SW8 3JF
0872 148 2911
Note: Calls cost 10p per min plus network extras.
The ViewLondon Review
Appearing like a secret door to Wonderland, the Artesian Well is a complete anomaly: welcome to the most unlikely nightclub in South London.
The Venue
The location is far from prominent, unless being a neighbour to the award-winning Lost Society counts. You wouldn’t expect to encounter the extravagance of the Artesian Well in Central London, let alone south of the river. And yet, this is a wondrous world in which Alice could meet Frodo for a cocktail, such is its surreal flamboyance. A couple of details stick rather than the whole picture, since there is so much to look at: the stained glass windows and the extra large Renaissance-esque paintings are beautiful. However, the frames made of gold-painted shoes are a better example of the excessive, fantasy aesthetic. The overall effect is so bamboozling you may be so caught up in observing the carved wooden chairs or the elaborate chandeliers that you don’t even notice the venue has three floors, with a private red room at the top and a dance floor in the middle.
The Atmosphere
Imagine the Artesian Well in Soho: it would be frequented by media types or steampunk fanatics (possibly both). Think of it in Mayfair, and it would be a superbly chic bar, frequented by the most elegant vintage-clad socialites. What really surprises is that the Artesian Well is hidden away on the Wandsworth-Clapham border, attracting a homogenous crowd of local girls in mini dresses and heels, and boys in smart-casual attire. The atmosphere is upbeat and non-judgmental and the Artesian Well also has the friendliest head bouncer London has ever seen.
The Music
So, the place looks outlandish but what kind of music do they play? With two DJs spinning during weekends on the ground and first floor, you are in for a good selection of commercial tunes, with a special predilection for house (the genre of choice), big tunes, classics, electro and progressive. The DJs are definitely crowd pleasers. Upstairs, there are even laser displays to add to the mix.
The Drink
Decently priced cocktails are a staple: even champagne concoctions are £7. Their mojitos are some of the best in town and no time or effort is spared by speedy bartenders to present you with one of the most perfect mojitos you will find south of the River Thames. The original is great but you should try the champagne version, too. The cocktail list spans classics, house mixes and champagne-based (in total two dozen concoctions) but the shooters should also be considered - you can pick six shots for £10 or choose a layered shooter for £3.80. A few wines (£15-£17 for a bottle, glasses £4 or less), and beer are also available.
The Last Word
A visit to the website will tell you that The Artesian Well is inspired by Bacchanalian revelry and the mysteries of alchemy. Visit in person and you will find both are alive and kicking at this party venue.
The Artesian Well has been reviewed by 31 users