Cheesy, silly and a little bit over the top, Trader Vics is all in good fun.

The Venue
A Polynesian themed bar and restaurant in the Hilton Park Lane, Trader Vics is well known in London and, in fact, the rest of the world, with more than two dozen branches. This one is down a twisting staircase off the hotel’s lobby, past a little entranceway complete with paraphernalia for sale. Once down the stairs, the whole of Trader Vics unfurls around you. It’s an enormous restaurant, with a variety of individually decorated rooms (albeit all with a Polynesian themes) on different levels. Waitresses wear long, flowered dresses, straw and bamboo poles make up the ceiling and boats hang from the walls.

The bar area is darker and more intimate, with plenty of little corners to sip your drinks in, whilst the restaurant area is divided up into a more casual space, with large straw chairs and views of the huge wood-fired ovens along with a series of tables with red booth seating. There’s something to see everywhere, and no detail is too small to be overlooked, right down to the ceramic salt and pepper shakers that look like they’re carved from wood.

The Atmosphere
It’s very obvious that Trader Vics is all about having fun, with big groups in the bar area and laughing couples queuing on the staircase as they wait for a table. It’s hard to take yourself seriously at a place like this, especially if you’re drinking an enormous fruity cocktail with a parrot-shaped straw in it, so it’s best to go with the flow. Service is casual and charming, from the flower-bedecked waitresses in the bar to the white shirted restaurant waiters to the suited doorman who guards the staircase. Relaxed, laid back music from a guitarist completes the atmosphere.

The Food
There’s no doubt that Trader Vics is expensive, but as you’re in the Mayfair hotel that also houses Galvin at Windows, the prices probably won’t surprise you. The menu is divided into different sections, with two types of starters (one type you have in the bar and the other for the restaurant), mains, wok dishes, wood-fired oven dishes, curries, sides and desserts.

Staff encourage you to have some starters at the bar before moving to the restaurant for the rest of the meal, but the bar starters are a bit more like, well, bar food. Egg rolls, spare ribs and cheese balls pale a bit in comparison to the starters from the a la carte menu, which include grilled scallop salad and oysters for just a few pounds more. Whilst the fried calamari (£10) is nice and crisp, kept warm on a dish with a small tea light and a butterfly-shaped plate filled with pale green, creamy wasabi mayonnaise, the Malaysian chicken skewers (£10.50) are disappointing. The chicken is stringy and dry and seems poor quality, and the accompanying chutney is too sugary to complement it. You might be better off just having drinks in the bar and saving the food for the restaurant area.

Mains include the Chai Tai smoked duck breast (£19). Cooked for thirty minutes by hanging inside the woodsmoke oven, the duck is very tender, with a hint of sweetness. Although a large portion, it’s not quite clear what makes the mango chilli beef cost £25. It’s essentially a stir fry, with big chunks of beef scattered with cubes of mango and slices of peppers and onions, and a big bowl of rice is included. The sweetness of the mango does well to temper the fiery heat of the chilli, although you may want to order a creamy cocktail to cool your mouth down. Sides are about £5 to £6, such as the artichoke bottom with creamed spinach, which is soft and dense, but more of a dip than a side. Desserts are fun, especially the pudding version of the Mai Tai, which is served exactly like the cocktail, except slightly smaller and made of sorbet. It’s sugary sweet, with a sharp, fruity tang. Coconut ice cream with chocolate sauce is also a good choice, but the ice cream could do with being a bit creamier.

The Drink
Cocktails are the specialty here, the Mai Tai being their signature drink. Legend has it that the original Trader Vic (Victor J. Bergeron) invented the Mai Tai in his restaurant in Oakland, California in 1944. After presenting it to his friend from Tahiti, she took a sip and said, mai tai, roa ae, which in Tahitian means, out of this world, the best. The updated version lives up to its reputation, as it’s sweet and smooth – you can only just about taste the rum, which makes it incredibly easy to drink. At £10 it’s one of the more expensive cocktails on the menu but not an unusual price for the area.

The Samoan Fog Cutter (£9.50) is a favourite with the Formula One drivers that come to Trader Vics, and it’s easy to see why – despite being served in a tall ceramic glass decorated with a hula girl, it’s very potent and, like the Mai Tai, almost deceptively easy to drink considering the amount of rum in there. A Wahine (£8.50) is served in another ceramic glass, this one a round brown coconut emblazoned with the Trader Vics logo – it’s very creamy, almost milky, and ideal with the spicier dishes. The Tiki Puka Puka (£10) is undoubtedly one of their prettier cocktails, although a bit awkward to drink – it’s served in a low glass bowl and floating on top is a beautiful yellow orchid.

Trader Vics knows how to make cocktails, and if you’re not a fan of them it's be a strange place to go. Fortunately, though, they have a lengthy wine list along with Champagne. A bottle of house red or white starts at about £20.

The Last Word
A fun and friendly bar and restaurant with good cocktails and great atmosphere. It might be pricey, but it’s certainly cheaper than a trip to Tahiti – an easy way to escape to the tropics for just a night.

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