You don’t need to be a footballer to recognise that Vendome Mayfair is a haven for aspirational Wags. Ladies, if you’re slimmer than a twiglet or you’re curvier than Beyonce, this is the perfect place to parade your pins. From hosting end-of-season players’ parties to rubbing shoulders with celebrity royalty, this venue is a hot-spot for the A-list party scene.

The Venue
Located near the Ritz, Vendome is a glamorous Mayfair club that oozes seduction. Just waiting by the cloakroom will sizzle the chastity belt of any good church-going girl. Sauntering past snakeskin patterned handrails, six-inch heel owners may have trouble mastering the entrance stairs; lined with mirrors, it’s easy to become distracted with your own vanity and miss a step. Once inside, more mirrors (etched with the golden swirls of the Vendome logo) lace the club’s glossy walls. The chrome design even extends into the restrooms, which are reminiscent of tin-foiled blitz shelters. The dance floor boasts a rotating circular DJ booth with enough LED displays to turn a 1970s OCD lighting designer into a blubbering wreck. Black and white Puff Daddy-esque plush sofas line the edge of the dance floor and lurking behind glass doors are the VIP booths hollowed into the underground walls.

The Atmosphere
Mysterious blondes and Lego-jawed bar staff serve behind the glistening bars. Although stealthy efficient, it’s rare to catch a friendly smile. You can only assume the aloof attitude is paramount to that exclusivity factor – something the £20 entry charge only serves to reinforce.

Looking around the crowd you can’t help but feel that there may be a ‘no-trolls-allowed’ policy on the door, and boy do the approved cattle know it! Bait in body-con and muscle-manned credit cards best depicts the clientele. With a capacity of 350 the dance floor is susceptible to a canned-sardine syndrome but the glittering shoals don’t seem to mind the close proximity.

The Music
On regular nights the vibes begin with commercial RnB and escalate into a mix of funky house and electro by the early hours of the morning. The appeal of spinning sets off the merry-go-round DJ kiosk has attracted the likes of Sebastian Ingrosso from Swedish House Mafia amongst other top-notch DJs.

The Drink
Tables (starting at £500 minimum spend) become watering holes for the more scantily dressed as ice buckets, Belvedere and Cristal are summoned. More modest spenders may prefer to stick to the bottled beer (£4) and the standard range of spirits and mixers. Cocktails (£11-£14) are designed to loosen your inhabitations and lighten your bank balance.

The Last Word
If you’re comfortable with the DO-judge-a-book-by-its-cover attitude, owner of a sky’s-the-limit credit card, and you’re able to deal with an invasion of your personal space, Vendome Mayfair is the perfect venue to flash your cash. Yet if you’re just looking to doll up and dance, this bustling club is just one of many exclusive London clubs that provide a similar experience.

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