Steak, steak and more steak. If you’re a lover of red meat then Balham’s Cattle Grid will keep your carnivorous urges happy – as long as you don’t mind queuing for the privilege, that is.

The Venue
Steak. Not exactly the subtlest of dinners, is it? As such, Cattle Grid’s decor is equally bold. A black and white canopy hangs down low over the street outside, covering a huge cow that stands proudly in front of the restaurant... probably wondering where all his cow mates are. Inside, the decor is simple and clean with comfortable leather chairs (well, you may as well use the whole cow) nestled against wooden tables on a shining wooden floor. The colour scheme is neutral and simple, bordering on bare, but it’s the perfect setting for enjoying a simple steak dinner. Who needs chandeliers when the smells from the kitchen get your mouth watering as soon as you walk in?

The Atmosphere
A mixture of couples and friends seem to make up the main bulk of the clientele at Cattle Grid, with a skew towards the twenty-to-thirtysomethings that dominate the area in the evenings. The strange thing about Cattle Grid, however, is its ordering service. Similar to the likes of Gourmet Burger Kitchen and Nandos, you have to go to the counter yourself to order and pay before you eat. Whilst this works in almost fast food joints, in a steak restaurant like Cattle Prod it really does cheapen the whole experience.

The Food
The portions are big and the steaks juicy, with a menu split into sections like ‘Pig’ and ‘Cow’. A 10oz sirloin steak cooked medium-rare is a thick slab of meat, perfectly pink in the middle and runs with juices when you cut easily through it. Rich and flavoursome, it’s worth every penny of the not unreasonable £14.60 price tag. If you want to show off, a 16 oz T bone steak comes in at just under £20 but that one really is for the aficionado... and hungry. All steaks come with a generous helping of home cut fries with a crisp skin and fluffy potato middle and the peppery watercress salad adds some vibrancy to the plate. If you’re particularly peckish then you can load your plate up further with sides such as a garlicky Portobello mushroom for just £2 or a wobbly fried egg for £1.50. A rich, creamy bearnaise sauce is also a must. Yes, this is most definitely not the place for dieters. If you don’t fancy a big main meal then they also offer a large selection of burgers.

The Drink
For a steak restaurant, the wine list is a little disappointing with fewer bottles on offer than you might expect. However, the prices are reasonable with many bottles priced at under £20 and they do offer a decent Malbec, with heavy tannins that complement the steak well. It just feels like they could have made a lot more of the drink selection to really raise the experience of dining here up another notch.

The Last Word
With a few tweaks, Cattle Prod could be really great restaurant. As it is, it’s a fine place for a meal but queuing at a restaurant and ordering at a counter is never going to make you feel particularly special.

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