In an age where bigger is better, Cosmo Croydon rules supreme. They boast some impressive numbers: ten 'Live Cooking Stations' offering over 300 dishes to 800 customers at any one time, with 25,000 visitors to the several restaurants in the chain every week. But is it any good?

The Venue
Cosmo is located in Croydon’s Valley Leisure Park and has the feel of a shopping centre restaurant, albeit on a much grander scale. And it’s hard not to be taken aback when you first enter this sprawling space. It has a futuristic feel that is free of anything resembling authenticity and charm but has to be admired for its sheer audacity. There are ten cooking stations with chefs creating a range of different dishes from various countries, as well as a vast numbers of self-service buffet stations (complete with flashes of neon blues and pinks) just in case you can't wait. It’s almost like visiting Sainsbury’s on a Saturday night... were Sainsbury’s on a futuristic space ship. It’s easy to get lost or lose your bearings here, which will be why the menus come with little maps. Seriously. The high-backed chairs are comfortable but the row-upon-row of seating is squashed in to get as many bums on seats as possible, something that adds to the feeling you’ve been herded in for your evening chow.

The Atmosphere
This is mass catering mixed with buffet dining. The two worst dining experiences merged? Yes, it is as bad as it sounds. As you enter an – admittedly smiley and chirpy – member of staff informs you of the time you must leave. Two hours may be enough but it doesn’t exactly start your evening off well. Then you’re left to your own devices, and it's pretty overwhelming. After being ushered to your table (feeling decidedly like a sheep as you’re moved into your small space), the industrial warehouse feel of the room, the lack of atmosphere and the sheer scope of your dining choice leaves you a little cold. And although there are staff everywhere and they’re polite and smiley, it all feels robotic, contrived and regulated. The menu even makes the point you can eat as much or as little as you like, and you feel the latter is what they’d prefer.

The Food
This is where you have to give Cosmo its dues - even if the quality isn't amazing, there's certainly plenty of choice. They offer a lot of food, covering various countries like China, Japan, Korea, Malaysia, Thailand, Mongolia, Singapore, Vietnam and India, and it's a good way of trying different cuisines, even if they do ruin it slightly by throwing in Sunday roasts and pizzas for pickier palates. It’s also very easy to budget your meal here: you pay £14.99 up front, £7.99 for a child, and away you go.

It’s definitely worth checking out the cooking stations, and the dim sum is actually pretty good with various warm dumplings and well-spiced parcels. Also, the sushi bar does a decent maki roll, or at least as good as at those at chains like Yo Sushi!. As a starter the crispy duck pancakes are similar to you’ll find at your local Chinese takeaway, and the chicken korma is creamy and rich (if greasy), and the chicken is well portioned (if a little tough) - it’s certainly as good as your bog standard Indian restaurant. And this is pretty much the theme of the food here: you have two hours to stuff your face full of food that isn’t too bad and probably costs less than a takeaway. It works... just about.

The Drink
A wine list where not one bottle surpasses the £16 mark? Best steer clear as it’s unlikely to be of the best quality. However, they do a good pint of San Miguel for under three quid, they have Carlsberg on draught and, just as you'd expect for this type of cuisine, bottles of Tiger too. They do have a vast number of soft drinks and spirits and the hot drinks are a nice touch, although it’s a shame there’s no green tea; jasmine tea is as exciting as it gets.

The Last Word
Cosmo is one of those places you should probably experience at least once – just to see it for yourself. It is a crazy idea that, judging by the visitors, is working. It may not be the best gastronomic experience of your life – or even the best night out you’ve ever had – but it’s certainly different.

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