If you cherish friendly and helpful service when eating out, then give Khans in Bayswater an almighty big swerve. If you don’t mind appalling service of the Faulty Towers variety, then the Indian food served up is of a reasonable enough standard.

The Venue
Khans Indian restaurant is situated near the top of Westbourne Grove road a short-ish walk away from Bayswater Station. The restaurant is large enough to hold over two hundred people on its two floors. The first thing you notice are the paintings on the walls. Not subtle paintings in frames, but the walls actually painted to depict a tropical island setting. The theme is completed by faux Art Deco-style palm trees. An interesting decor that could be described as tacky or quite pleasant depending on personal tastes, but the set up is probably more Greek taverna than Indian restaurant.

The Atmosphere
There’s a general low-key ambience to the place which lacks a bit of atmosphere. The seating arrangements are quite cramped in some places, and you may have to get up from your chairs to let others out. Given the ample seating, the place seems to be pretty full with a probable majority of locals.

The waiters seemed to amble around without any real purpose or conviction, and interacting with them leaves you feeling like an unwanted guest. For those used to friendly service at Indian restaurants, this is a bit of a jolt to the system. Expect blase attitudes, mistakes on the orders and an unclear final bill that makes splitting the cost more than two ways need a Stephen Hawkins-like mental dexterity. Khans seems to be place where you can get in have your meal and get out quickly, not a place to spend any longer than is required to order, eat, pay and check-out.

The Food
There are only a very few real options for starters. The samosas are excellent, with no oily residue and a light and crisp pastry that stays crisp and intact when you bite into it. The filling in the samosoas is a nice tasty blend of meat and spices, with subtle hints of green and red chillies. The beef and chicken samoasas are both very good, but the chicken-filled one seems to have better mix of meat and spices.

For mains, there’s a reasonable but not large selection of dishes. The tandoori chops are nicely cooked, if a little uneven, the portion is on the small side, with just three rather skinny-looking chops. A pinch of salt would bring out the real tandoori flavour. The chickpeas and spices that made up the chana masala have a good distinct flavour, perhaps a little salty, and the mushroom bhaji is tasty with a nice kick but perhaps contains a few too many onions to the volume of mushrooms. The garlic naan bread looks very inviting. Straight out of the oven, it has a pleasing melted butter sheen and tastes fine. The pilau rice is fine as well. All the meat dishes use Halal meat.

The Drink
Don’t expect to get any booze as all the drinks served are strictly non-alcoholic. Non-alcoholic wine and beer are available, as well as non-alcoholic cocktails, although for some strange reason you’re not able to order them on a Monday night. There also looks like there’s a good selection of fresh juices, including flavours like mango, watermelon and papaya.

The Last Word
For those who like their food cheap and uncheerful Khans serves up reasonable enough, pretty decent Indian food, albeit with an underlying sneer. While the food itself is perfectly fine it’s not worth travelling any real distance for, and the unacceptably rude and poor service ensures no return in this lifetime.

venue information venue map view london review user reviews (6)