Affluence is the order of the day in this chic snapshot of Chelsea that for all its hints of high society, decadence and well-earned distinction is never less than hospitable and homely – even for those outside the exclusive sphere of sophisticated socialites that populate its terraces.

The Venue
Sitting sanguinely on the corner of Chelsea Square, Le Colombier is happy to bask in the afterglow of a successful decade at the top, beckoning those with big enough bank balances through the doors. The blue cocooned terrace, utilised as an al fresco dining section during the summer months, is equally prominent during winter and adds an extra layer of polish to the proceedings, prolonging the promenade up the ramp and lending the visit an air of importance as staff greet you with open arms and smiles.

The interior is a shade smaller than you might imagine though there’s an air of authenticity about it. A small array of simply dressed tables are enlivened by the glittering bar at the head of the room and ocean blue lights intermittently dotted around the room. It’s a classic French brasserie and everything you might expect from a similar establishment in the heart of Paris.

The Atmosphere
Owner Didier Garnier has been in the restaurant business for a long time and it shows. He oversaw the running of the St Quentin group of restaurants before establishing Le Colombier in 1998. He’s also managed to build a loyal group of staff who have followed his every move and seem to trust him implicitly. And why wouldn’t they? The restaurant bristles with energy and enthusiasm and Didier’s team of suited foot soldiers seem to have acquired an almost telepathic understanding with one another, joining ranks without fuss or frolic for the greater good of the restaurant. They’re humble too and never too false or finicky to spare a moment for a chat with the locals. And boy do they know their clientele inside out though it’s no wonder when the majority are regulars. This is a well oiled machine that seems to service itself automatically.

The Food
There are no surprises on this archetypal French menu. No unnecessarily lavish or complex ingredients or flavour combinations. No frilly afterthoughts. Just pure, unadulterated classical French cooking and herein lies the strength of the food at Le Colombier. The restaurant follows this uncomplicated mantra in the execution of the final product, serving conventional fodder in a refined yet elegant fashion. There’s nothing frivolous about smoked salmon (£8.90) at the best of times and Le Colombier does little to tart it up and send it on its merry way with a face full of makeup. A large slather of the smoked stuff is draped over the entire plate, served with a sprinkling of capers and a dollop of creme fraiche - both of which are optional and both of which are necessary to give the dish a bit of pizzazz alongside the rather lonely looking lump of bread on the side of the plate. It’s predictably pleasant on its own but even scrummy simplicity needs a little shake up now and again. The same can’t be said for snails served in a garlic cream sauce and puff pastry (£8.50). The snails are just the right side of rubbery and melt in your mouth whilst the pastry is a neat trick – tentatively perched over the mellow molluscs and adding balance and texture. But it’s the rich density of the sauce that’s the star of the show, satisfying beyond belief and seriously addictive.

Sampling the single most expensive dish on any menu is always likely to give an indication of overall quality and in this instance its Dover sole with a parsley butter that promises much at £27.50. True to form, it’s elementary (both in concept and presentation) though you’re presented with two options - grilled or pan fried? And on or off the bone? It’s seemed as though having it served grilled and on the bone would be a sensible way to retain even more of its purifying essence and so it proved. It’s buttery, moist and delicately grilled and appears lightweight at first glance. But it’s seriously rich considering its slender appearance – oily and unctuous. The chef hasn’t compromised anything for flavour on this occasion in what is surprisingly stark yet, despite its minimalism, seriously valiant cooking at this level and at these prices. A real success.

The sirloin of Scottish beef served with a peppercorn or bearnaise sauce (£18.10) is another dish you could stake your house on and this offering’s no different. Cooked perfectly to the requested medium it’s a solid home banker, served with wafer thin pommes allumette (French fries for the less cultured among us) and a lovely pot of French beans that are soft and smooth. It’s no wonder they’re served as a side with half of the meat courses.

The bilingual bourgeoisie in Chelsea might be able to order food in another language but for those of us who threw in the towel after French GCSE, you may have to ask the waiter to decipher a couple of the desserts as they’re displayed only in French. Chaud froid aux amandes (£6.50) is one such example. Literally translating to mean hot, cold and often utilised as a poultry dish, this is vanilla ice cream served with a gooey chocolate sauce to humble folk. Hidden beneath this gluttonous mass are delightful little crystallised flecks of almond that give the dish real class and quality. Mousse au chocolat (£6.50) is a little easier to interpret but a little harder to please. It’s small, rich and seems to be packing an alcoholic punch that isn’t altogether as satisfying.

The Drink
The wine menu at Le Colombier reads like an encyclopedia or one of Dostoyevsky’s novels and connoisseurs are likely to have a field day with this labyrinthine list. Of the whites, Le Villeroy (£21) is an excellent bet and well worth paying a bit extra than house standard. Otherwise, whites range from £16.50 a bottle all the way up to £220. Reds are priced from £16.90 to £1,200 for a bottle of Petrus Pomerol, Champagnes span £24.50 (half a bottle) to £84 for a Magnum and £140 for a Laurent Perrier. There’s also a substantial magnum section where you can splash £500 on a Chateau Margaux and six bottles of port that are likely to set you back anything from £33 to £89 a bottle.

The Last Word
The chefs at Le Colmbier probably wince if they happen to catch Heston Blumenthal, the zany tsar of cookery, whipping up a culinary storm on television. Such methods contravene everything the restaurant stands for – simple food that speaks for itself. Sure, it caters for seasoned socialites with discerning palates and edifying etiquette. But it makes for a surprisingly comfortable dining experience. No frills perhaps, but thrilling nonetheless.

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