Very cheap and very cheerful, Little Bay’s Croydon location is as weird and wonderful as the ones in central London.

The Venue
Dining at Little Bay is like dining at a restaurant dreamed up by Lewis Carroll and M. C. Escher – you go upstairs to go downstairs, everything is draped in velvety fabric, coloured lights sparkle from every direction and murals of unicorns and gold foil-edged old maps decorate tables and the sides of booths, which are the coolest part of the venue. Tables are packed cosily into haphazard corners and balanced atop staircases – like a topsy-turvy theatre box office, or a snug little cavern. These tables go fast though, so if you want one you should call ahead and book.

Like the other Little Bay restaurants, the toilets at this location should be a definite visit, though for over-18s only, as it’s painted with scenes from what could be a ‘70s-style porn film.

The Atmosphere
Mondays and Wednesdays see opera singers serenading the diners, whilst on Saturday nights live music plays. Service is friendly and efficient, and you have to give them credit for climbing up and down the teetering staircases all night. The crowd seems to be made up of groups of friends out for a laugh – no surprise, as this is some of the best priced food in the capital.

The Food
Prices are decided by when you eat, not what you order. Starters and desserts are a shockingly cheap £2.25 from noon until 7pm, after which it’s £2.95. Mains are £5.25 from noon until 7pm, and £6.85 afterwards.

The food is good – not amazing, but decent – and as these are takeaway prices, you definitely get more than you pay for, especially when you add the fun and funky atmosphere into the equation. Unsurprisingly, there are almost no red meat dishes on the regular menu, but there is lamb, duck, salmon and seafood.

The starter of goat’s cheese croquettes is nice and crisp, with an accompaniment of warm artichoke hearts coated in balsamic vinegar, whilst the smoked salmon starter comes with slices of orange, beetroot with grated horseradish and a dollop of creme fraiche – a good balance of tart and sweet, sharp and subtle.

Mains are a bit less successful. The duck breast is a generous portion, complemented nicely by the sweet potato mash, pak choy and a sweet teriyaki glaze, but the duck is too fatty, tough and hard to chew. The tortilla is actually a giant veggie burrito, filled with grilled vegetables like mushrooms and onions and topped with a thick slice of melted mozzarella; it’s cooked well, but the sauce could do with a bit more of a kick.

Desserts are perhaps the biggest portions of all – two profiteroles piled high – really high – with cream and chunks of banana. The cream is light and fluffy but the pastry is a bit too dry. Apple cake comes with good quality vanilla ice cream and custard, but the cake itself is too stodgy and not like the light and fluffy sponge it should be.

The Drink
The drink is as well priced as the rest of the menu, with bottles of Budvar, Peroni and Becks going for about £3, and wines ranging from £11 to £25 for whites, and to £45 for reds. The wine list has several choices from France, Spain and Italy, the house white being a bottle of J Moreau and Fils, surprisingly full-bodied for just over a tenner. Champagne is also available, the most expensive bottle being £65.

The Last Word
Perfect for nearby residents who want something a bit different than their usual restaurants. Go with a group of friends, pack yourselves into a little cavern, and eat as much as you can afford – which should be plenty.

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