This intimate, fairy-lit South London restaurant and bar has a devoted following but it’s hard to see why when the cooking is uneven and the prices no bargain.

The Venue
Set amid a parade of bars and restaurants on the edge of Clapham Common, Metro boasts a chilled bar at the front with old sofas distressed to the point of collapse, and a modern British/fusion restaurant to the rear, half of which is housed in a conservatory softened by passion flower plants creeping up the walls and a myriad of fairy lights.

The Atmosphere
The trendy young things of South London dress up to enjoy a “posh” night of dining out: perhaps it is their lack of culinary knowledge that keeps them coming back for more. The jeans-clad waiting staff are informal, friendly (almost matey, in fact) and reasonably efficient. Dine in the conservatory in winter at your peril: it looks enchanting but the rear walls are merely wooden folding doors so it gets jolly cold despite the portable gas heaters dotted around.

The Food
A starter salad of soft shell crab on mango and rocket (£7.95) is fine, the crabs are tasty but the mango and rocket upon which they sit is unexceptional. Similarly, a chicken and mozzarella salad (£7.50) is competent and inoffensive: any reasonably skilled home cook could create it. In both cases, the kitchen seems to have gone somewhat berserk with the black pepper mill.

A main course of fillet of hake from the daily specials (£14.95) is properly cooked with a crisp, seasoned skin. It comes on a bed of roasted vegetables comprising peppers, red onion and aubergine. Bits of the onion are unpleasantly burnt. Venison (£15.95) is tender, tasty and not overly gamey. Its red wine sauce tastes of red wine and nothing more. Again, an average home cook would be quite pleased to turn it out.

Sides of mash and sweet potato mash are both lumpy. Does this professional kitchen not possess a potato ricer? The kitchen’s black pepper fiend has been on the loose again with these sides, although neither mash seems to have been anywhere near the salt.

Puddings are similarly hit and miss. A trio of mango, raspberry and blackcurrant sorbets (£3.50) is superb: smooth, intensely flavoured and a generous portion. Lemon tart (£4.95), on the other hand, is horrendous with dull and suspiciously uniform pastry and an insipid filling that’s far too firm. The dollop of clotted cream offers slight mitigation.

The Drink
Metro boasts an extensive cocktail list and is particularly proud of its fairly-priced Martini cocktails. Enjoy one of those, or a beer (from £3), on one of the uber-squishy sofas at the front before making your way through to dinner. The wine list is perfectly adequate with house varieties at £11.95 or £3.25 per glass. A sauvignon blanc at £16.25 is well-chilled (just like the unfortunate diners in the wooden-walled conservatory) and exhibits the customary gooseberry zing. You may be asked whether you want a bottle of still or sparkling water (£2.95) so prepare to grit your teeth and demand your (environmentally friendly) rights if you have a jug of tap water in mind. Filter and espresso coffees (£1.75) are fine, although an accompanying chocolate or sweetmeat wouldn’t go amiss.

The Last Word
Metro appears to have a devoted following which is a bit baffling, considering the number of eateries jockeying for attention round Clapham Common, and the hit-and-miss efforts of the kitchen. If the bill is more like £28 or even £35 a head, it would be reasonable value for money. However, for £47 per person, one expects better. Particularly galling is the inclusion of bread on the bill at £1 each! Bread is offered in the usual way at the start of the meal and is assumed to be complimentary. Paying £1 for half a slice and a smear of butter leaves a taste in the mouth even less pleasant than that of the insipid, claggy filling of the lemon tart.

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