forget about the chain, best beef in London

Needing some respite from the joys of Christmas shopping for my dear mother in law, I sought refuge in one of London's finest restaurants.

I was really looking forward to eating at the Missouri Angel as its slick website suggested a fantastic eating experience. The promise of pure and stylish modern American food in an oustanding setting made my mouth water with eager anticipation.

How wrong I was.

My starter was risotto with baby leeks. The rice was undercooked and akin to eating bullets. The baby leeks had been overcooked, losing their consistency and forming a slush. The whole meal was over seasoned by the heavy handed chef. Can you believe that they also charged me an extra pound for crispy bacon?

The starter was poor, I thought to myself, but things would soon improve...

For the main course, I chose blackened salmon with chorizo. I don't know what they had blackened the salmon with - creosote perhaps - as it had the texture of a freshly laid driveway. The fish was overcooked, dry and singed. The accompanying mint veloute was tart and overpowering. A side order of tobacco onions completed the disaster: these onions had been smoking for years.

Throw in a healthy dose of sneery, self important service (we had to ask for the bill three times) and all the hallmarks of a nighmare dining experience were evident.

Eat at the Missouri Angel again? I'd rather take the mother in law for a romantic trip to Beirut. This place is the worst restaurant I have experienced in well over twenty years of dining out. Overpriced, poorly presented and an insult to the innovative nature of modern American cuisine.

Avoid at all costs.