Food: Gnocchi with Meat Sauce and Parmesan and Lucky Squid with Chilli Jam, Choy Soy both £4.50. Crisp Belly of Pork, Mash Potato and Green sauce £9.50, Welsh Black Rib Steak, Chips and Mustard Mayonnaise £10
Drink: Bottle of Kozel Czech £2.75, bottle of 1999 Navajas Tinto Rioja £13.75
Service: Fabulous and from my partner’s point of view, wonderfully flirty!

It’s certainly big but SOS is far, far from being intimidating – in fact I felt so at home in the in the urban, relaxed ground floor café that I had to be physically yanked up from the battered, leather sofa by my ravenously hungry and increasingly grumpy dining partner.

Moving up to the second floor dining room (all big beams and exposed brickwork) we were swiftly moved through the bustling an incredibly busy restaurant to our table which looked out over the glory of Smithfield. Eyeing up the menu Mr Grumpy’s mood was pacified somewhat by the back to basics, good British grub it featured (although I think it’s fair to say that Chef John Torode has picked up a few pointers from the orient and rural Italy). "Finally a menu free of raw fish and pacific ruddy rim," growled the meat loving moaner.

I opted for the Lucky Squid with Chilli Jam (how could one NOT order such a charmingly titled dish?) and followed with the Crisp Belly of Pork served with Mashed Potato and Green Sauce. Mr Grumpy meanwhile finally managed to drag his dribbling gaze from the meat delivery taking place over the road to bark at the terrified waitress his desire for the Gnocchi with Meat Sauce and a Welsh Black Rib Steak. Both the squid and the gnocchi were delightful and the meat sauce is more than worthy of a special mention – a meal in itself, from the small amount I was allowed to sample I can honestly say it was tasty, perfectly seasoned and decidedly moreish! The main courses were equally satisfying. My generous serving of pork was melt in the mouth good and the mashed potato was ‘proper’ i.e. tasted of potato rather than olive oil, truffles, bubble and squeak or any other dodgy combo so readily wacked into mashed up tatties these days. Mr Grumpy who gradually transformed into Mr Smiley with each bite of tender steak, declared the dish "stonking" and made swift work of the accompanying chips and mustard mayonnaise.

Too full for dessert I looked on in awe as Mr (by now) Annoyingly Ecstatic flirted outrageously with the waitress, which after much cajoling and teasing climaxed in him agreeing to try the white chocolate mousse with blueberries! Resisting the temptation to smash his grinning, smug face straight into the scrumptious looking pudding, I opted instead to satisfy my sweet tooth and raced him to demolish the wicked, and decadently delicious chocolate masterpiece.

Stumbling into the night Mr Stuffed to Bursting waxed lyrical about Smiths, even going so far as to ask me to accompany him for a return visit – not even flinching when he uttered the words ‘my treat!’ And there you have it. Tofu and polenta will never maketh the man – but give him a piece of good and bloody meat and behold the transformation! I wonder if they do a steak big enough to persuade him that I really do need that Prada handbag??

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