Sweet sugar saccharine cupcakes, it's a doll's house!

The Venue
From the outside Hummingbird Bakery looks like a run-of-the-mill cupcakery: black wood-framed windows, Paris-inspired alfresco furniture, pastel-coloured interior and prominent window displays of old cupcakes decorated with a thick layer of icing. Unless you're keeping your eye out for it, this petite bakery can be easily overlooked, especially on Saturdays when Portobello Market is at its busiest.

The originally American bakery is housed in very small premises: the invisible kitchen takes up the back, leaving the front for display counters and a limited number of seats. To ensure enough storage and display space, open cupboard shelves are installed along the walls above the counter to showcase drinks available, and narrow wood planks act as tables on the opposite. The bakery's space is further compacted by the underbelly of a flight of stairs that protrude in on the right of its entrance. This unevenness in space is likely the reason for the deliberate angle of the display counters: tilted slightly to face the customer when they arrive and then easing into a long parallel-to-the-wall service stand.

The Atmosphere
"It's like a dollhouse!" exclaims a newly-arrived customer. The pretty-in-pink bakeshop does indeed resemble one of Barbie's ventures, and the staff seem to have heard this so many times the phase of humble acknowledgment has passed. Service seems to also have gone with it - the exaggerated civility comes off as insincere.

Although seats are available, the Hummingbird is more of a takeout than a sit-in establishment. They staff seem to be accustomed to crowds passing through but are puzzled by customers who wish to sit in for a quiet afternoon.

The Food
Served on a fuchsia dessert plate too big for the cupcake (with a thick paper napkin more suited for heavy dinner purposes), the red velvet variety (£2.15 in, £1.85 out) is an unnaturally red piece of cake topped with very sweet cream cheese icing. The miniscule portion of cake (magnified by the large utensils) is dense and moist within, and has a bitter aftertaste from the "dash of cocoa powder".

The Drink
When the coffee machine is out, tea is also off the menu. Your only picks are the retro bottles of soft drinks. Unless you're stocking up on sugar, be sure to check first. They don't offer tap water.

The Last Word
Extremely sweet confections are not worth the price, but if you must, pay less to take out. The premises are too small to sit in comfortably anyway.

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